Listening in detail

Positive examples

• Focus on what they are saying
• Actively show interest
• When appropriate, ask questions to clarify understanding and note the key facts
• Occasionally test understanding by summarising
• Act upon what you have heard

Negative examples

• Appears disinterested or bored
• Frequently interrupts or cuts across what others are saying
• Often asks for contributions to be repeated

Developing listening

• Consciously choose to be listen intently in a particular meeting
• Take the minutes or action notes of a meeting
• Allow the other person to make all of their points before you express yours

Helping others to develop listening

• Encourage the individual to seek rather than give information
• Encourage the individual to ask for feedback from peers
• Discuss the individual's contribution at the last meeting you both attended
• Agree to practise listening at a meeting, during the meeting note examples of good and bad listening, and the effect they had
• Set the individual the task of observing and listening to individuals at the next meeting you both attend

Questioning

• Open questions - Requires a descriptive answer, encourages a response - how, what, when, where, why and who
• Closed questions - Invite yes/no, or a very short answer
• Probing questions - Reflect back on a previous answer and ensure the next question continues the theme
• Multiple questions - Asking several questions at once only confuses
• Leading questions - Indicate a preferred response and can be embarrassing
• Loaded questions - Imply a judgement and can be compromising

Listening

Look interested

• Keep eye contact
• Stay relaxed
• Lean slightly forward
• Maintain an open posture

Inquire with questions

• Clarify the speaker's meaning
• Ensure you get the full story
• Use the various types of questioning

Stay on target

• Stick to the point, remember your purpose
• Listen for the central theme of what is being said
• Wait for the complete message, don't prejudge
• Don't "yes, but", be patient

Test your understanding

• Ensure you really do understand correctly
• Reflect back, "so what you are saying is?"
• Summarise from time to time

Evaluate the message

• Identify the speaker's purpose
• Analyse what is said, is it complete?
• Is the body language consistent with the verbal message?
• What does the voice indicate through its tone, pitch and speed?

Neutralising your feelings

• Stay calm, retain self-control
• Don't get heated or emotional
• Keep an open mind